Monthly Archives: June 2008

Hallelujah!

Posted on June 18, 2008 by Austin Knight

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost … Continue reading →

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James Bond’s car left on a train, innit……….

Posted on June 17, 2008 by Austin Knight

  Spy chiefs faced further embarrassment today when it was revealed that the secret undercover Aston Martin used by agent 007 had been accidentally left on the 5.15 supasaver to Didcot Parkway. The top spy’s sports car, which was handed … Continue reading →

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Gonna jump……….

Posted on June 17, 2008 by Austin Knight

A young blonde Portsmouth girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Gunwharf Quay. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed … Continue reading →

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PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO F*CKING PARK ON BRINK OF EXTINCTION……..

Posted on June 16, 2008 by Austin Knight

DRIVERS who can position their car in the middle of a parking space at a supermarket are sliding closer to extinction, conservationists have warned. http://www.thedailymash.co.uk  its news to us. Yet another symptom of climate change? Or is he just an … Continue reading →

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DRIVERS URGED TO PANIC……………..

Posted on June 16, 2008 by Austin Knight

DRIVERS were last night urged to go apeshit crazy, as everything went tits up. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! With petrol stations poised on the brink of an abyss, the government was forced to issue an emergency statement stressing the need to completely freak … Continue reading →

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Unofficial Rules For Life………….

Posted on June 16, 2008 by Austin Knight

1. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If … Continue reading →

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Knit One – Pearl Harbour………

Posted on June 16, 2008 by Austin Knight

A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and  emptying them into his dustcart lorry.   He gets to one house where the bin hasn’t been left out so he has a quick look for it, … Continue reading →

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Brown Bread………..

Posted on June 16, 2008 by Austin Knight

A man goes to visit the grave of his mother, puts a beautifulbouquet at the headstone and gets up to leave when he noticesanother man crying his heart out, lying on one of the graves insuch a way, that it … Continue reading →

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“Quotes” 4 Fathers day………..

Posted on June 15, 2008 by Austin Knight

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.  – Aldous Huxley Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.  – Laurence J. … Continue reading →

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Black To The Future………..

Posted on June 13, 2008 by Austin Knight

St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enterHeaven. He asks the next one in line, ‘So, who are you, and what did you do onEarth?’ The fellow says, ‘I’m Barack Obama, and I … Continue reading →

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