Monthly Archives: January 2009

When Madonna married Guy Ritchie she moved to London because she wanted to be more "English". She is now a single mother with 3 kids by 3 different fathers, one of whom is African. Job done!   http://www.comedianuk.com

  Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.The doorman at … Continue reading →

A professor at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to … Continue reading →

This was in The Guardian 27/9/03 Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will … Continue reading →

‘Hello I’d like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?’‘Do you know which ward she is in?’‘Yes, ward … Continue reading →

Hope this makes you smile… EVER WONDER where we are headed… Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don’t ever see the headline: ‘Psychic Wins … Continue reading →

At a meeting of the AARP (American Association of Retired People) they showed a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20 yr old. The contest was titled ‘u @ 50’. This video actually won second place. When … Continue reading →

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn’t put it down. I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on. So Batman came up to me & he hit … Continue reading →

Prince Charles arrives in Iran on an official visit. He asks the president, "Where is the shah?" "What do you mean?" says the president. "There is no Shah. We got rid of the Shah years ago." "In that case," says … Continue reading →

Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, if your heart is as … Continue reading →