Monthly Archives: June 2008

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

Posted on June 30, 2008 by Austin Knight

1..  My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought  he was God and I didn’t.  2..  I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of  it.3.. Some  people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill  them.4.. … Continue reading →

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The Way Things Are…………

Posted on June 29, 2008 by Austin Knight

WHERE WOULD YOU BE:IF – YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES? IF – YOU HAD NO WORRIES? IF – YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU IF – YOUR BATH WATER HAD BEEN RUN? IF … Continue reading →

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Booze, The Final Conflict – Be Warned!

Posted on June 29, 2008 by Austin Knight

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is … Continue reading →

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Breaking News………….

Posted on June 26, 2008 by Austin Knight

After escaping from her overly controlling campaign manager for the evening, Hillary Clinton sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. … Continue reading →

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Yet another chestnut………

Posted on June 25, 2008 by Austin Knight

A fellow checked into a hotel on a business trip recently and was a bit lonely so he thought he’d get one of those girls you see advertised in the phone books under ‘Escorts and Massages’. He opened the phone … Continue reading →

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In the year 2008 the Lord came unto Noah, (who was now living in England) and said:

Posted on June 25, 2008 by Austin Knight

"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.’ He gave Noah the CAD … Continue reading →

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Yet another chestnut……….

Posted on June 25, 2008 by Austin Knight

A Florida couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African black bush tribe whose men all had pen*ses 18 inches long. When a tribal male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his pen*is and on … Continue reading →

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No fool like an old fool……….

Posted on June 23, 2008 by Austin Knight

A guy noticed an old lady sitting on her front step, so he walked up to her and said, ‘I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look!     What is your secret?’ http://www.comedian.ws   ‘I smoke ten cigars and about 60 … Continue reading →

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Frank Evans’ Four Little Girls………

Posted on June 19, 2008 by Austin Knight

A quartet of 12 year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of … Continue reading →

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Subscribe to THE WEEKLY MASH….

Posted on June 19, 2008 by Austin Knight

HELLO and welcome to the Weekly Mash, the official letter of explanation from the Daily Mash, Britain’s leading satire website and meaningless inflation target. Earlier this week Joan Rivers was thrown off a daytime television programme. Not because she looks … Continue reading →

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