Monthly Archives: September 2005

In the local chemist, a geezer asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The lady at the counter said that she herself was the pharmacist, and that she and her sister owned the shop, so there were no male employees. … Continue reading →

A gag that meets the criteria of ‘semi-jolly’ ranking      Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.After the first day they met up in the bar.."Ah, Pierre," asks one, " ‘ow ‘av you been doing?""Merde!" … Continue reading →

My old mate Terry Cundall sadly passed away last week.  If you didn’t know him personally, you probably would have recognised him off the telly.  He was often featured in Corrie, Emmerdale and scores of other popular shows.    I … Continue reading →

At school one day, the teacher is asking the children  what theirparents job is. "My dad’s a policeman miss"! says Albert. "That’s nice" says the teacher. "My dad’s a teacher like you miss"! says Jason. "Very good"! says the teacher. She … Continue reading →

We live in strange times.  Consider the following facts. The most talented rapper is a white fella, the top golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the Yanks of arrogance and Germany doesn’t want to go to war!  Volte-face … Continue reading →

29th.August 2005.   Another bank holiday weekend!  ‘The Missus wanted a trip out, (I call her "Viking", because she has a face like a Norse!) and on that basis we proceeded to the Mottram Horse and Dog show.  What a brilliant … Continue reading →

A Somali arrives in Bradford as a new immigrant to the United Kingdom.He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Britain for letting me in this country!"  But the passer-by says "You are … Continue reading →

  Have you noticed that all the leaves are falling from the trees?  What is going on?  Could it be that the Russians are up to summat, might it be linked to nuclear waste that is being accumulated in Korea, … Continue reading →

In retrospect, I’m beginning to think that it’s probably not a good concept to allow an eight year-old child work in a turkey de-beaking plant. The poor kid gets home far too late and it interferes with my severe gambling … Continue reading →