Category Archives: Uncategorized

Return of the man who never came back….

Posted on May 4, 2024 by Austin Knight

Barmy Albert sez to Non-Stick Nora: “I can remember the first time I visited Liverpool, I found it very hard to leave.” Nora asked “Did you fall madly in love with the place?”  Albert replied: “No, I had my car … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Technical Services Scenario

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Austin Knight

Breaking News: the Devon & Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled as they couldn’t decide whether The Jam or Cream should go first. I was supposed to be helping Cat Stevens repair his caravanette.  Awning has broken… Q) What’s red … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

This is good. But is it Art?

Posted on April 16, 2024 by Austin Knight

I’ve been helping my old mate Art Garfunkel update and modernise his antiquated kitchenette.  The wooden floor had dry rot, so we decided to rip it all out and replace it with a concrete floor.  We were shovelling all the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Barmy Albert’s bargain buy!

Posted on April 13, 2024 by Austin Knight

My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday. This accusation is patently absurd. Primarily because I didn’t even know it was her birthday! She was also most upset because I don’t buy her flowers anymore.  To be honest, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

A sad loss to the diplomatic corps….

Posted on April 7, 2024 by Austin Knight

The missus was whinging about putting on so much weight recently, and I innocently sez: “Maybe you should eat a little less, darling” She took the huff and shouted, “What’s THAT supposed to mean?” I looked at her and replied, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The gender agenda bender….

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Austin Knight

This year, Easter has coincided with April Fool’s Day, so technically, you could hold an Easter egg hunt for the kids, who would be searching for chocolate eggs that you haven’t actually hidden! Barmy Albert has had double glazing installed, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What a tangled web we weave….

Posted on March 23, 2024 by Austin Knight

The missus asked me: “How would you describe me?”  I sez: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”  She thought for a moment and replied: “What does that mean?” I told her: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fabulous, gorgeous and hot!”  She sez: “Thank you. But … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The cool aardvark….

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Austin Knight

Barmy Albert was smoking a cheroot outside The Pitt Bull and Stanley Knife pub, when Dastardly Derek, the landlord came out and curtly informed him that couldn’t smoke outside the premises, unless he was fifteen yards away from the building.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Yet another unfortunate farrago….

Posted on March 9, 2024 by Austin Knight

What with the pension age being increased, coupled with the current cost of living crisis, we are now forced to toil well into our old age. Yesterday, I spotted a pensioner working in the local supermarket car park collecting shopping … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Putin on the hits….

Posted on March 2, 2024 by Austin Knight

You can tell that you’re getting old, when you have upstairs Paracetamol and downstairs Paracetamol. Moreover, when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and you begin to wonder if there’s anything else that you could be doing while you’re … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment