A gag that meets the criteria of ‘semi-jolly’ ranking
Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.
After the first day they met up in the bar.
.
"Ah, Pierre," asks one, " ‘ow ‘av you been doing?"
"Merde!" answers Pierre. "I ‘av ‘ad a mos’ terrible day. Terrible!
At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg ‘airy sergeant. ‘E dragged
me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."
"And zen what ‘appened?" inquires his mate.
"I weel tell you what ‘appened! ‘E made me climb urp zis silly leetle
platform five feet off ze ground and zen ‘e said "Jurmp!"."
"’And did you jump?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told ‘im – "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jump
five feet. It is beneass my dignity."
"And zen what ‘appened?" asks his mate.
"Zen ‘e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze
ground, and ‘e said "Jump!"."
"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told ‘im – "I am a French paratrooper. It is beneass
my dignity to jump ten feet."
"What ‘appened zen?" asks his mate.
"Zen ‘e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a ‘undred feet above
ze parade ground. ‘E undid ‘is trousers, took out zis enormous tallywacker,
and ‘e said: "If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp
your burm."."
"Ooooh!" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"
"A leetle, at ze beginning."
After the first day they met up in the bar.
.
"Ah, Pierre," asks one, " ‘ow ‘av you been doing?"
"Merde!" answers Pierre. "I ‘av ‘ad a mos’ terrible day. Terrible!
At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg ‘airy sergeant. ‘E dragged
me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."
"And zen what ‘appened?" inquires his mate.
"I weel tell you what ‘appened! ‘E made me climb urp zis silly leetle
platform five feet off ze ground and zen ‘e said "Jurmp!"."
"’And did you jump?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told ‘im – "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jump
five feet. It is beneass my dignity."
"And zen what ‘appened?" asks his mate.
"Zen ‘e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze
ground, and ‘e said "Jump!"."
"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.
"I did not. I told ‘im – "I am a French paratrooper. It is beneass
my dignity to jump ten feet."
"What ‘appened zen?" asks his mate.
"Zen ‘e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a ‘undred feet above
ze parade ground. ‘E undid ‘is trousers, took out zis enormous tallywacker,
and ‘e said: "If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp
your burm."."
"Ooooh!" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"
"A leetle, at ze beginning."
ComedianUK.com 