BRITISH CHILDREN TOO UGLY, SAYS GLITTER 
GLAM rock Feedopile Gary Glitter has refused to return to the United Kingdom, insisting British children are far too fat and ugly.
Should Gary Glitter be forced to live in a balloon?
He failed to board his flight to the UK from Bangkok last night, claiming the average British 12 year-old now looks like a short, chubby version of Dot Cotton.
Recovering from a pretend heart attack, the former pop star said: "They’re all so porky these days and I’ve never been a fan of love handles. They’ve got little fat hands, big puffy cheeks and terrible teeth."
Glitter blamed the government for allowing British children to get so ‘woefully out of shape’ and called for a ban on trans fats and extra investment to provide free swimming lessons with Len Fairclough at local authority leisure centres.
He added: "Trans fats can be found in thousands of processed foods from sweets and biscuits to ready meals.
"They are used because they are cheap, add bulk to products, have a neutral flavour and give products a long shelf life.
"But they have no nutritional value and have been linked to high cholesterol, heart disease and making children distinctly unappealing."
Glitter insisted he would only return to the UK if he was allowed to run some kind of pre-teen health and fitness club.
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