Tag Archives: fiction

The Technical Services Scenario

Breaking News: the Devon & Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled as they couldn’t decide whether The Jam or Cream should go first. I was supposed to be helping Cat Stevens repair his caravanette.  Awning has broken… Q) What’s red … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

A sad loss to the diplomatic corps….

The missus was whinging about putting on so much weight recently, and I innocently sez: “Maybe you should eat a little less, darling” She took the huff and shouted, “What’s THAT supposed to mean?” I looked at her and replied, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The gender agenda bender….

This year, Easter has coincided with April Fool’s Day, so technically, you could hold an Easter egg hunt for the kids, who would be searching for chocolate eggs that you haven’t actually hidden! Barmy Albert has had double glazing installed, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Yet another unfortunate farrago….

What with the pension age being increased, coupled with the current cost of living crisis, we are now forced to toil well into our old age. Yesterday, I spotted a pensioner working in the local supermarket car park collecting shopping … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The health scare at the Co-op

It was fancy dress night at The Pitt Bull and Stanley Knife pub. Barmy Albert and Non-Stick Nora had hired some magnificent costumes and gone dressed as Two Wise Owls.  They were both playing pool in the games room, when … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

They’re not making shortbread any longer…

The rain was tempestuous and the storm was gathering apace, when Non-Stick Nora discovered Barmy Albert perched in front of a big puddle outside The Pitt Bull and Stanley Knife pub, totally drenched and holding a tree branch with a … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Had a few too many…..

    I was quaffing a pint of Farquaharsons Old & Filthy Best Bitter in my local pub, The Pit Bull & Stanley Knife, when I noticed a gorgeous foxy blonde lady sitting at the bar drinking champagne.  Just my type, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The New Year Farrago….

My New Year Wish: All I ask is one chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. We were really poor as kids.  At Christmas, my older brother got an air guitar and I got his old one… I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The New Years Resolution…

Went to see the new Willie Wonka movie over the weekend.  It cost £14.50 each to get in!  A fella sat a few seats away persisted in making loud and incoherent grunting noises all the way through the movie, which … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment